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How Discipline Has Taught Me The Magic Of Play

Updated: Oct 3

Discipline. Just this one word can summon up army majors, aggressive whistling and press ups. I'm not quite sure why that is, but this scene is far from want to be spending my time doing! Really though, discipline is just another word for routine, and although the army camp thoughts may be hard (for me) to drop, discipline doesn't have to mean pain. But, it does require unwavering motivation and the will to never give up. And I mean never, because some things don't come easy, and most things certainly don't manifest themselves overnight.

There is a saying that if you spend 18 minutes a day learning a new skill, after a year you will be better at that skill than 95% of the world. I find this fascinating, but I do struggle with the last half of the sentence, as I don't think a positive step such as learning a new skill should turn into a comparison about how much better or worse we are at doing that thing than other people. Anything we aspire to learn should be motivated through our desire to evolve and become more rounded as humans, and this desire should only ever come from ourselves. But anyway, the upcut is that if you want to get really good at something or develop a new talent, it will require more than just a positive attitude and some clever planning. It will always require the consistency of a good routine, and this has to be driven by discipline.

A woman juggling hula hoops

About 7 years ago I decided I wanted to learn to hoop.

Having studied other dance forms, I have always enjoyed movement, but at this time in my life I found myself yearning for a new form of expression that would bring fitness and dance together in a way that would challenge my brain as much as my body. I had seen the many varied and amazing ways of hoop dancing at festivals and on You Tube, but it wasn't until a friend lent me his hoops when he went overseas that I really began to dabble in the art form, and before long I knew this was something I just HAD to immerse myself in.

Flow arts like hooping really are the whole package. The mind works just as hard as the body, which is fantastic for mental alertness and brain health. It is encouraged to learn all moves in both directions and with both sides of the body, so there is not just an awakening of balance within the body, but also an awakening of muscles that haven't been used since perhaps childhood. The concentration can be intense, and its easy to get sent into a spiral of overwhelm, but through a combination of gentle perseverance and the knowing when to step back, progress is slowly made. Because of this you can't help be connected mentally, physically, and (eventually, once in a state of flow) spiritually. Little did I know back then that I was actually working on a superpower, a magical talent I could come back to time and time again when ever I needed a pick me up or energy shift.


But I'm getting ahead of myself. Hooping did NOT come easy to me. Unlike other types of dance I have learnt, which are about moving the body, hooping is about moving your body, while moving an object on and off your body. And although I had always found waist hooping quite easy, (I randomly won a waist hooping competition at a restaurant when I was about 10 years old!) when it came to manipulating the hoop up and down my body, or swinging it outside of my body, or on my hands, I couldn't get over the fact I was all of a sudden dealing with this weird hard foreign thing, a strange plastic circle that wasn't fluid, wasn't connected to me, and really really hurt if it got flung in the wrong direction!


Even so, thanks to You Tube, I had plenty of inspiration and I persevered. Over time (and many bruises later) I found I was slowly increasing my catalogue of moves. During these early days when I was just beginning, myself, Brett, and our two boys were living in a tiny 40 square metre bach while we planned our house build. This was stressful (and cramped) to say to least, but I was able to find solace from the mayhem within the small circle I was creating around myself. I didn't realise it at the time, but I had unwittingly manifested an area of space that no one else could get into.


Every day I showed up and persevered through the frustration, tears, triumphs and injuries, and over time I learnt many weird and wonderful tricks. I was slowly progressing, but there was still one move I couldn't do that I really wanted to nail ~ shoulder hooping. If you have ever seen anyone dancing with a hoop, shoulder hooping is the most beautiful thing to watch. It's so fluid and sensual, and for a dancer, the ultimate place to be in flow. So every day, I tried. And tried. I tried some more, until I realised that I had been trying for 6 months. After that time I could only get it to rotate around my shoulders once before I would start looking like a wayward penguin, with my whole body awkwardly circling while my arms stayed glued to my sides. It didn't seem to matter how much I practiced or what technique I used, nothing seemed to work.


Then one day I found an amazing online shoulder hooping course by the legendary hoop queen herself Deanne Love, and I decided to go for it. This was a 21 day course, so I figured by the end of 21 days I would be a pro, especially since I was already 6 months in! However as the course progressed it became apparent that this was meant to be a long process, and as I was asking my body to something foreign to anything it had ever done before, it required brand new muscle memory connections to be made. This was why it had been taking so long, and even though the course was helping immensely, it was still going to take more time. But I kept at it, kept showing up and giving what time I could each day to the cause of learning how to shoulder hoop.


And do you know what? One day I picked up my hoop, almost a year after setting myself the goal, and I got it. What had felt clunky and uncoordinated all of a sudden gelled and felt smooth. For the first time the hoop felt fluid and I really understood the mechanics behind what I was meant to be feeling. That solid year of perseverance and drilling the hoop to shoulder connection into my muscle memory came together in one moment, showing me that THIS is how it should feel, THIS is how you should move, and THIS is flow. Just like riding a bike, once I got it I got it. I actually remember being so overcome with relief and pride that I cried.

A woman shoulder hooping with an LED hula hoop

All that time and discipline had finally paid off. Once I unlocked shoulder hooping, I could fully give myself over to playful unadulterated flow. No longer was I obsessed with not being able to do a certain move ~ instead I could direct my attention on the fun aspect of just letting loose and dancing with the hoop. Discipline had unlocked the complete opposite of discipline ~ play. And playing with the hoop more led me to know the next set of moves I wanted to master, setting in motion a discipline/play cycle that still serves me to this day.


Hooping isn't for everyone, and the thing you might want to master may be far from the frivolity of rotating a plastic circle around different parts of your body. But I do think we all have the desire to learn something new, in fact it seems imperative for a healthy life. For you it might be learning to how to paint, engaging in some martial arts, or mastering macrame. All of us have different actions that help to make us feel empowered, and learning a new talent, no matter what it is, does have the power to enrich your life in ways you may not fully realise. Hooping has given me a beacon of light when all else has failed. I have furthered my hoop knowledge by attending retreats and learning from some of my biggest hooping heros, and in times when I feel like I am losing my way or am uncertain of which direction to take, I have a superpower to lift me up and give me some perspective and clarity.


So if there is something that you have always wanted to try, a hobby or skill you would like to learn, I encourage you to find some time in each day to take small, intentional steps towards developing the actions needed to achieve your goal. Find that all important discipline within, come up with a plan, and stick to it. Remember the quote from the beginning? 18 minutes a day. 18 minutes a day less of scrolling instagram or facebook to learn a new thing that will develop your self discipline ~ and perhaps change your life. Who knows? You might just discover your superpower.




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2 Comments


Chris Meehan
Chris Meehan
Sep 30

Perseverance is a key part of life and this reminds me that I have been promising myself for an extremely long time that I need to get myself back into piano playing. It is something that I was really good at in secondary school, and was a boon when I became a school teacher for playing at assemblies, school productions and in church while I was at a Catholic school.

Not sure what is stopping me now although I suspect it is the fact that I am the kind of person who is not too keen on learning new things and would rather just be able to do it straight away - guess I will need to employ the perseverance…

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Abylene Chalmers
Abylene Chalmers
Oct 02
Replying to

I think half the time the biggest challenge to overcome is the starting, taking that first step (or seat at the piano). I don't know how often I say out loud "Just pick the hoop up Aby!" I would love to hear you play x

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